Emotional Eating – Why I Binge.

Hi guys,

Well, I did write a whole ten paragraph post originally and when I went to save my draft to publish later, the whole thing disappeared. Talk about being gutted. I was thinking that I just wasted the last fifteen minutes of my life but now, I feel quite cathartic. However, it does mean that this post will be considerably shorter (I can hear you cheering now!). I feel I have to mention it’s more serious in tone, so feel free to skip to other posts if it’s not your thing.

What got me to write this was that pretty much about 4 hours after I posted my weigh in post with my 4lb gain, I went on a binge. It made me realise two things: I need to not depend on other people to be happy and that I binge a whole lot less than I used to. To give you an idea of how much less I binge – tonight: two individual steak pies and three clementines, four months ago: I would have driven to KFC/McDonalds and ordered about £20 of junk and scoffed it within fifteen minutes.

It made me think of where it started. As all good psychologists know, it’s a childhood thing (well, maybe not all, but mine definitely is). My Mum was very controlling with my food. Rather than try and explain healthy eating and letting me learn from my mistakes, she would make sure I only ate what she let me. I’d have a separate plate I could only eat from whereas the rest of my family could eat what they wanted and how much they wanted. I think the endorphins from sneaking a chocolate bar or a bag of crisps was ingrained into me at such a young age that when I’m feeling really sad, I just gorge on anything to make me feel better (which doesn’t usually happen. I usually feel sick, lethargic and rubbish in general).

On another note, I have realised that although I don’t care for people’s opinion of me in general, when it comes to my Mum or my fiancé, I have to feel their approval. No idea why, I’ve only just realised it myself. I think a big part of my SW journey will be (as corny as it sounds) finding myself and what makes me truly happy. Along with that (seeing as it is New Year’s Eve – how apt), I’m going to wean myself off all this binging business. It’s a horrible cycle and there’s no happiness in it (feel crap emotionally and after the binge feel fat and crap before being depressed and eating more).

In my now non-existent essay, I mentioned how this realisation has felt like a small non-scale victory. I’m changing how I think about food and hopefully in the future, how I approach it. It’s not going to be a miracle overnight thing but baby steps, right?

So.. I will have my post on the new packs tomorrow. I finish work early so I’ll have a couple of hours to myself to write it up and give a clear view on it. Also I have given myself an extra push to get myself together and kick start the weight loss again so that will be up in the next few days as well.

Until next time.. x

PS. Happy New Year!

Weigh in Monday & New SW Packs

Hi guys,

Just a quick one from me. Sorry I didn’t manage to get any photos from my get together with friends. I was just so busy with food and then so hungry that I totally forgot – typical!

I did manage to go to weigh in yesterday though. Our group has been moved to a Tuesday which is a bit hard for me to get to as it’s earlier (6:15pm) and I don’t finish work until 6:45pm. I really wanted to go though as the new packs were out and I wanted to get my head around it before the New Year,

So, considering I haven’t been to group since mid-December and had been eating out non stop since then (I know.. don’t frown at the screen in disapproval!) I did gain but not as much as I originally expected. I weighed in at 15st 8lb (it was flitting between 7.5 and 8) with a 4lb gain. It’s not unexpected but I’m not angry either. I guess it didn’t help too much having weigh in the day after a massive dinner!

So yes, I am getting back on it (slowly). The next couple of days are going to be half SW days as it’s New Year etc but from the 2nd I will be doing the new plan and will hope to get a loss at the weigh in on 7th Jan – fingers crossed!

I will probably do a little blog post over the New Year about the changes to the SW plan once I get my own head around it. From first impressions though, it doesn’t seem too different and a lot more streamlined. On the SW facebook groups (the normal ones, not group based) there seems to be a lot of scaremongering about the new plan and people outright refusing to do the new one, etc so I want to make sure I have all my facts right beforehand as I wouldn’t want to set off WW3 (though that may have already happened in the FB groups!).

So, until next time.. x

How we spent Christmas..

Hi guys,

Happy Boxing Day! I hope you’re having a fantastic festive season – if you’re braving the sales today: good luck!

I thought I’d just give you an update on how OH and I spent Christmas yesterday. We had spent Christmas Eve watching all the Christmas specials until around 3am. We both opened a present at midnight (family tradition). So Christmas morning we woke up quite late – 11am for me as I promised my sister I’d make her dauphinoise potatoes to go with the roast lamb for Christmas lunch.

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Lunch was at around 3pm as Dad had underestimated how long it took to roast a lamb leg! We had roast lamb, roast potatoes, mash, dauphinoise potatoes, carrots, sprouts, Yorkshire pudding and lots of gravy and mint sauce (not very SW, I know), followed by some Christmas pud & custard.

Presents followed and although I didn’t really want anything, I did get a few great presents. All the chocolates have been given to my OH to snack on when he’s gaming!

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These are just a few of the things I received. OH got me a special money box as well as the bookmark/pen set (I love stationery and books!) and he made me a vase with little turtles and ladybirds which I thought was super cute. My mum bought me a watch (which actually fits – my wrists are usually massive and won’t fit normal watches). I also received an owl, some money, an iPod nano for my car and a vent phone holder (really useful).

No Christmas is complete without Christmas leftovers and in true form I got myself a lamb and mint sauce sandwich (again not SW friendly) but absolutely scrummy!

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Now I’m tucked up in bed watching rubbish TV and having a snack of clementines. I’m feeling today’s food weighing down my stomach at the mo so I’m looking forward to more SW friendly food which seems kinder to my insides!

I think tomorrow (Boxing Day) will be spent prepping my food for Sunday so I don’t have to worry too much on the day. Other than that I think my house needs an absolute blitz. All my pre-Christmas baking has made my kitchen look like a flour bomb has exploded in it!

So, I shall leave you for now. I may blog on Sunday with all the (not-SW-friendly) food and then it’ll be back on the wagon for me.

Until next time.. x

 

Merry Christmas

Hi guys,

Sorry I haven’t posted much in the last couple of weeks. We’ve been overrun at work and I was inundated with my exam revision so my body’s been telling me to take a rest! I have been pretty busy with last minute wrapping and baking & now it’s nearing the end of Christmas Day, I’m finally snuggled up in bed, catching up on my favourite Youtube videos and generally just chilling.

I hope everyone is having a fantastic Christmas! We had a lovely Christmas dinner with a roasted lamb leg and lots of veggies (and mint sauce!). As I may have mentioned before, I’m having friends over for another Christmas and I’ll be eating as I want on that day.

FRIENDS’ CHRISTMAS MENU: roast pork belly with stuffing, dauphinoise potatoes, roast new potatoes, carrot and swede mash, sprouts, roasted parsnips, sausage meat stuffing with chestnuts and sage, pigs in blankets and gravy. We’re then having Chinese hotpot in the evening so there will be meat slices, enoki and oyster mushrooms, winter melon, chinese leaf, fishballs galore and prawns – so excited!

I will be eating relatively healthy from now until then. I haven’t managed to make the past two weigh ins as I’ve just been so busy. I’m looking forward to Tuesday’s as I believe we will be getting new packs! Definitely exciting to see what new changes are in store.

So.. to sum up, I hope you’ve all had a fantastic day and not worried too much about what is passing your lips. I hope you’ve had a great day with family and ready to bring in the New Year!

Until next time.. x

Food Shopping – Morrisons (13th Dec)

Hi guys,

Just a quick food shop update today. I spent a little more as I got a few things for OH’s Christmas snack box which isn’t on the list but I thought I’d mention it anyway. Total including all the snacks for him was £53.17 but I’ll update you on the total below.

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Excuse the table weirdness in the middle – I ended up taking a panorama so I could fit everything in 🙂

Fruit and veg: mini corn on the cob, massive papaya, onions, baby spinach, tender stem broccoli, clementines, strawberries, bananas, baby potatoes, parsley, cucumber, leek, sweet potato, tomatoes, radishes

Everything else: Cathedral city mature selection bag, 2 Cathedral City vintage cheddars (on offer), sliced ham, pickled beetroot, Philadelphia Light with mediterranean tomatoes, cheese stick, jalapeño hummus, onion and garlic dip, low fat thousand island dressing, can of chickpeas, jalapeño coleslaw, value coleslaw, tarragon, bacon.

Total: £54.83 – £1.66 offers = £53.17 – £12.12  = £41.05

I don’t think the total would have been that high if I hadn’t lost it half way through and smelt the bread! Meant I bought a few things which were off plan and totally random! Also stocked up on my favourite Cathedral City vintage cheddar as it was only £2 a block and BBD was March 2015 so it’ll last a couple of months! Mental note for last time – STICK TO THE LIST!

Also picked up my first £5 voucher on the Morrisons Match & More Card – I think I’ve been shopping three times to get it and collected on my fourth shop so will be using that probably just after Christmas (voucher expiry is a year later so plenty of time to use it!) as I plan on using the £15 off a £60 shop at Aldi to get all my Christmas shopping in later this week.

So until next time.. x

Thurs – Sun Round Up (11th-14th Dec)

Hi guys,

Just a quick round up session. I’ve been pretty busy with fitting Christmas meals out with my exam revision and work (yes, I’m to blame for poor planning and not wanting to punk out!). I’ll have a shopping haul soon as I went on Saturday but not yet had chance to do a write up yet – it’ll be soon, promise!

Thursday

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Breakfast – a few chicken and mushroom dumplings

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Lunch – tomato speed soup (ss) with beetroot (s) and mozzarella (HEA) and wholemeal toast croutons (HEB)

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Dinner: bacon with roast carrots (s), potatoes, peas (ss) and corn

Superspeed – 2, speed – 2

Total syns: about 15 for the dumplings?

Friday

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Breakfast: bacon and eggs on 400g wholemeal toast (HEB) with ketchup (3 syns)

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Lunch: chicken stew (s) with carrots (s), celery (s), mushrooms (s), broccoli (s), onions (s)

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Snacks: rainbow swiss roll (10 syns?)

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Dinner: burger in a bowl with a potato waffle and 3 dairylea light slices (HEA) with chinese cabbage (s), tomatoes (s), cucumber (s), onions (s) – 10 syns

Superspeed – 0, speed – 10

Total syns: 23

Saturday

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Breakfast: soy salmon with scrambled eggs

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Lunch: burger in a bowl – 5 syns with chinese cabbage (s), tomatoes (s), cucumber (s), onions (s)

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Snacks: rainbow swiss roll (10 syns) with strawberries (ss) and cherries (s)

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Dinner: SW chilli dog on a not-so-SW half cheese stick with onion dip (20 syns?). Didn’t end up eating the coleslaw.

Superspeed – 1, speed – 5

Sunday

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Breakfast: Christmas lunch with my Mum and sisters – had a buttered brown roll, parsnip soup, a slice of turkey and roast pork with all the trimmings, about a third of the sticky toffee pudding (too sickly sweet) and half the mini mince pie and a cup of tea

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Late lunch: half a cheese stick with bacon and egg and 3 syns of ketchup.

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Dinner: friend’s Christmas do, had a fanta (stuck to diet coke after the one) with olives and half a chicken with half the coleslaw and the corn on the cob

Syns: WAY TOO MANY!

So that’s how the last few days have gone. I seem to have developed a sweet tooth which is unlike me and I’m going to try and get rid of it! Weigh in on Wednesday is going to be a bit of a nightmare I think as my Mum needs me to drive her to Malton in the evening so she’s decided on a girly dinner. As it wasn’t planned, I’m going to make sure that my choices are going to be more SW-friendly. I don’t think I can take any more hits this week. All this Christmas malarkey has worn what was left of my self control extremely thin. Definitely need to get this back!!

Until next time.. x

Meal Plan – Sunday – Saturday (14th – 20th Dec)

Hi guys,

So meal plan for next week. It’s getting closer to Christmas and I’m kinda hoping to get through Christmas and New Year relatively unscathed. I’m willing myself to stick to plan this week so it will give me some wiggle room over the holidays.

Sunday
Breakfast: syn-free sausages, eggs, 400g wholemeal toast (HEB) and baked beans (ss)
Lunch: Christmas lunch with Mum and sisters
Dinner: Friend’s Christmas Do at Nando’s

Monday
Breakfast: bacon, spinach (s) and mushroom (s) omelet with 40g reduced fat cheese (HEA)
Lunch: SW crunchy Thai beef salad (0.5 syn) with chinese cabbage (s), radishes (s), spring onions (s), carrots (s)
Dinner: SW rich beef stew with carrots (s), sprouts, onions (s) and mushrooms (s)
Superspeed – 0, speed – 9
Total syns: 0.5

Tuesday
Breakfast: congee with beef slices, tomato (s), Chinese mushrooms (s), preserved cabbage (s) and spring onions (s)
Lunch: SW rich beef stew with carrots (s), sprouts, onions (s) and mushrooms (s)
College snack: jacket potato with cheese (HEA) and baked beans (ss)
Dinner: SW crunchy Thai beef salad (0.5 syn) with chinese cabbage (s), radishes (s), spring onions (s), carrots (s)
Superspeed – 1, speed – 11
Total syns: 0.5

Wednesday
Breakfast: congee with beef slices, tomato (s), Chinese mushrooms (s), preserved cabbage (s) and spring onions (s)
Lunch: SW crunchy Thai beef salad (0.5 syn) with chinese cabbage (s), radishes (s), spring onions (s), carrots (s)
Dinner: SW rich beef stew with carrots (s), sprouts, onions (s) and mushrooms (s)
Superspeed – 1, speed – 11
Total syns: 0.5

Thursday
Breakfast: congee with beef slices, tomato (s), Chinese mushrooms (s), preserved cabbage (s) and spring onions (s)
Lunch: SW lamb hotpot with carrots (s), potatoes, sprouts, onions (s) (1 syn)
College: jacket potato with tuna (s) in light yoghurt and coleslaw (10 syns)
Dinner: SW chicken (s) and leek (s) pie with carrots (s), peas (ss) and mushrooms (s)
Superspeed – 1, speed – 11
Total syns: 11

Friday
Breakfast: bacon, eggs, mushrooms (s) and baked beans (ss)
Lunch: SW chicken (s) and leek (s) pie with carrots (s), peas (ss) and mushrooms (s)
Dinner: SW chilli con carne with rice (carrots (s), celery (s), peppers (s), onions (s)
Superspeed – 2, speed – 9
Total syns: 0

Saturday
Breakfast: spinach (s) and mushroom (s) omelet with reduced fat cheese (HEA)
Lunch: SW chilli con carne with rice (carrots (s), celery (s), peppers (s), onions (s)
Dinner: out for Christmas do

Hopefully I can stick to plan to give me a good little push with Christmas only a few days away 🙂

Until next time.. x

Weigh In Saturday (13th Dec)

Hi guys,

Just a quick one today! I just weighed in this morning and was expecting possibly a small gain, a maintain at the most with the awful week I’ve had. I’m thoroughly surprised to have weighed in at 15 stone 4lbs which means I’ve lost 1.5lbs!

Part of this I think is the different weigh in times (morning rather than evening) so I’m not super excited yet as I’m going to my usual weigh in on Wednesday so I’ll see what the damage is there. I think I’d be happy with 1lb loss *fingers crossed*

After Wednesday there’s only one more weigh in until Christmas. I don’t think I’ll quite meet my goal of hitting my 1 stone but I think if I manage to keep to plan I think I’m going to get very close! 🙂

Until next time.. x

Early Christmas Present & Christmas Plans

Hi guys,

So Christmas is just under 2 weeks away and it’s pretty insane how this year has flown by, especially the last few weeks. I was really surprised the other day as my sister surprised me with an early Christmas present! This has become a bit of a tradition for us as it is almost ALWAYS baking related so I can use it to make some sort of Christmas baking for presents.

This year she bought something I didn’t even know existed! A personalised rolling pin (for the final roll) which says Made by YB.

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I’m excited to use this as I’m making shortbread so I think it’ll be nice to personalise it. I’ll definitely let you know how it goes. The plan is to roll it out using a normal one and then rolling over with this to imprint onto the surface. So happy 🙂

My baking plans are a bit crazy this year. I’m baking for slightly more people than usual (though the hamper for my Aunt is being made later as this year we won’t be seeing her until after Christmas). I’m making a total of 9 hampers of various sizes and I’m planning on making a start on them after my exam on Thursday.

I’m making the following: chinese sausage and cheese scones, cupcakes with various fillings, carrot cake, chocolate brownies, gluten free chocolate brownies, gluten free madeleines, mini cheese and onion pies, flapjacks, shortbread, sate chicken skewers, egg tarts and pineapple buns.

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I made my Christmas baking list yesterday and it’s absolutely insane! Luckily I bought The Mirror yesterday as it has a £15 off voucher (on a £75 shop) so I’m going to hopefully get a bulk (if not all!) of the ingredients as well as some bits for Christmas and a food shop as well. We’ve changed our Christmas plans a bit this year and will just be having a quiet one at home so Dad’s in charge of the turkey and I’ll probably be in charge of side dishes.

Also on the 28th I’ll be having a few friends over for a Christmas dinner/roast. We’re cooking for around 10 people so the plan is that we’ll do a roast rolled belly pork with stuffing, roast new potatoes, Dauphinoise potatoes (sister’s request), carrot and swede mash, sprouts with bacon, pigs in blankets, roast parsnips and gravy. We were going to have turkey but I only have a small oven so I figured belly pork would take less room (and less cook time!). We’ll be having an afternoon of playing board games and watching films and everyone is bringing an item for Chinese hotpot so it’ll be nice spending a lazy day with them. I mentioned that our friend is moving back to China, so this will also kind of be a leaving party for him so hopefully the food will be good!

What are your Christmas plans? Are you more chilled about it or do you enjoy taking everything on? Let me know in the comments 🙂

Until next time.. x

 

Sunday – Wednesday Round Up (7th – 10th Dec)

Hi guys,

Sorry this is a tad bit late. As you know from previous posts, I’ve had a bit of a rubbish week so getting myself to post this was quite hard! I guess this is how I’m changing my life around though as it’s making me more accountable 🙂 I’ve had an OK day today (Thurs). I’ve had massive stomach cramps all last night and today (probably from all the junk I’ve been eating!) so I’ve not eaten as much as I would normally and it’s given me a chance to get back to basics.

Sunday

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Breakfast: congee with beef slices, ginger and preserved cabbage (s)

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Lunch snack: soy salmon pieces

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Dinner: pork bone soup with green radish (s), Chinese mushroom (s), carrots (s), tomatoes (s) and celery (s).

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Dessert: 3 clementines (s) and an amaretto coffee

Monday

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Breakfast: congee with beef slices, preserved cabbage (s) and spring onions (s)

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Lunch: pork bone soup with Chinese mushroom (s), carrots (s), celery (s), tomato (s) (3 syns with pork ribs) and a banana

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Snack: clementine (s) and a banana

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Dinner: we headed to Red’s in Leeds with a friend which was hastily rearranged as we were supposed to go next week. I had a few sips of the bourbon bacon milkshake, the starter mixed ribs, the juicy lucifer burger with fries (which my OH had and I had some of his pit beans), frickles (really disappointing so I only had a couple) and slaw. As you can see I left a lot – I had about 3/4 of the burger and half the slaw. Somehow I lost myself and ordered dessert (pecan and salted caramel peach cobbler with ice cream) and it was so sickly sweet I only ate about half (of the cobbler part).

Tuesday

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Breakfast: I ate a pandan swiss roll slice (cringe!) and some congee with beef slices, preserved cabbage (s) and spring onions (s).

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College snack: cottage pie and spiral fries with a pepsi max

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Dinner: a mix of congee and soup – beef slices, tomato (s), celery (s), spring onions (s), Chinese mushroom (s) green radish (s), carrots (s)

Wednesday

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Breakfast: cup of tea (HEA) with o% natural yoghurt with strawberries (ss), banana and cherries (s)

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Lunch: yakisoba teriyaki noodles

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Dinner: soft shell crab with wasabi mayo (the weirdest thing I’ve ever eaten and much of it was left on the plate!) and a beef massaman curry with garlic rice, jasmine tea and a diet coke.

Yeah, so this week has been one hell of a write off. I feel really rubbish for it too. What I’m dreading is that next week we’re out again (for Christmas lunch with my Mum and sisters and to a friend’s work do at Nando’s) which isn’t too bad I suppose but I think I just want to curl up in a ball at home and not eat until next week (which is obviously unsafe and not actually happening!). As I said, Thursday hasn’t been too bad – I haven’t been to college tonight so no rubbish to choose from. Tomorrow I think I’m trying to make Big Mac in a bowl so that will be interesting. I feel I’ve gone majorly off the food plan for this week and my fridge just seems ridiculously full!

Until next time.. x