Tuesday Struggles

Hi guys,

I seem to be currently participating in my own Blogmas with all these posts! I hope I’m not boring you too much but it’s definitely keeping me focussed.

Today has been really hard. I don’t know whether it’s the weather or some of my brain cells have frozen but I’ve literally wanted to eat the entire contents of my fridge. And the cupboards 😦

I don’t think it’s helped much that I’ve been going out so much for dinner as well. One of my friends is leaving to go back to China for good so we are currently in the midst of visiting several restaurants before he leaves in a couple of weeks. We had sushi last week and an impromptu visit to Red’s True BBQ in Leeds as we had to rearrange and tomorrow we’re off to have Thai food as well as going to a friend’s work’s Christmas do on the Sunday and then it’s our work’s Christmas do on the Saturday.

I was really disappointed in myself yesterday though. We were at Red’s and I had planned what I wanted and had eaten pretty light (congee, soup and fruit) beforehand and yet despite eating only half my food I decided on dessert. If you knew me well, you’d know I never really have dessert. I eat fruit after dinner and that’s pretty much it. What on Earth possessed me to order the Pecan and Salted Caramel Peach Cobbler with pecan fudge ice cream – I will never know. It was so sickly sweet as well (especially as I no longer really have sugar in anything) but I just couldn’t help myself. What was worse though was that I felt so unwell for the rest of the evening and into today.

I am really tempted to just say.. It’s ok, I’ll just take a break until after Christmas but I can’t help but imagine me putting on all the weight I’ve tried so hard losing these past few weeks! Bearing that in mind, this time last year I would have just said f*** it, I’m just going to stuff my face until New Year, feel guilty and carry on eating until I can’t stand myself again. So I guess you have to celebrate the small wins, right?

I’m hoping to be able to kick my ass into gear now with only a couple of weeks until Christmas. I think I may try and weigh in on Saturday rather than the Wednesday as I seem to be needing to be in several places at once. That and I hope to shift the Red’s food baby by then. You can hope, right?

Sorry guys for the ramble. I just wanted to put my thoughts into words and hopefully once I’ve moved past this eating myself out of house and home stage, I can read back and feel glad that I’ve come out of it (positively!).

Until next time.. x

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